One Man's Unthinkable Journey to Fatherhood Book

In Not How I Drew It Up, Matt shares a deeply personal journey through fertility struggles and pregnancy loss from a perspective rarely heard — the husband’s.

On his wedding day, Matt promised his bride they would one day have children of their own. Like many couples, they imagined a future that felt certain. What they didn’t anticipate was the long road of infertility, devastating loss, and the quiet emotional weight carried by a husband trying to stay strong.

Told through the often-overlooked male perspective, Not How I Drew It Up is part memoir, part guidebook — a candid look at grief, resilience, and the strain fertility struggles can place on a marriage. With vulnerability and clarity, Matt shares the heartbreak he and his wife endured and the faith that carried them forward when answers were scarce.

This book is for:

• Couples navigating infertility or pregnancy loss

• Husbands searching for language for their grief

• Wives who want to better understand what their partner may be feeling

• Friends and family members walking alongside loved ones

• Anyone wrestling with the gap between expectation and reality

More than a story about loss, Not How I Drew It Up is a story about perseverance. It’s a reminder that hope can survive disappointment — and that family can be built in more ways than one.